I got up at 3:15am (woke up way before that... :D), packed my bed gear up, and snuck down to the H/C, where I found all the doors locked, and everyone still sleeping....so....I got in the hammock right outside and napped for another 10 minutes, before the girls woke up and started getting around, at which point, I knocked on the door, and they let me in.
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| Lauralen, her bana, Kylie, Makayla, and me |
After getting all of our things together, we walked the 15 minute walk to Lauralen's home (3:45am), where we "Ayo'd!!", and her sleepy bana came out out let us in to do a quick 'postpartum check' on both mama and baby and hearty goodbyes before walking back to Town, where we sat on the benches across the road from the H/C where the jeepney pickup was.
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| What a beauty!!! Beautiful little Kylie!! |
While waiting, I went back to the H/C, wrote a quick note apologizing for not saying goodbye to 2 people, and giving the checkup notes to them for their perusal, as well as letting them know that Lauralen and her bana decided to name the baby "Kylie" after Makayla (who goes by Kai here)...isn't that precious?!?! (The "3 musketeers" were hoping they'd name her "Tiana" after them-Katie, Jilian, and Hannah...but though she liked it, "Kylie" won out.)
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| On top of the world....er jeepney |
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| This is life.....you can see the world!! |
The Jeepney, unlike other mornings, didn't arrive until past 5am, which was okay lang...we had fun talking on the benches, and the girls laughed at me heartily because my water bottle made noises when I drank from it...or more like sucked from it....LOL
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| I love my Asian Trees, and the Jungle...... |
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| We are not stopped....we are moving, and that guy is not hardly holding on, while strapping stuff down.....it's crazy what they can do sometimes!!! Guess it's his job though!! |
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| Roads are mighty good so far!! |
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| Getting some potholes... |
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| Us Gwapas....my team.... |
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| Reporting Sir!!: Road is getting a little rougher....maybe more than a little?? |
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| Um.....Road is TERRIBLE!!! We're at a 90 degree angle...my side...this is awesome!! Better than a roller coaster, except that all that is holding me in is my hands!!! Woohoo!! |
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| Whew! We made it.....nothing like rice fields!!! |
From the beginning, I knew God was testing me....He was asking me, "Sarah, are you ready and willing to give up all your plans and desires for Me? Are you willing to give up what you feel is best, are you willing to leave where you feel I am using you and you are needed, to do nothing?? To surrender completely to My will?? Are you ready to give up the dream that I have instilled in your heart, to follow a higher calling....one one that will not make sense, but that I have called you to for the time being?? Are you willing to sacrifice everything to be a missionary for Me? Evil happens, and are you ready to face the challenges and trials that may come your way, and still be a witness and a light for Me? If you are tortured for Me, will you still love me and trust me? Are you ready to die for Me so that others may live? Are you ready 100% to love others through me??
Another thing, when at Casiklan, I acted the way I've always wanted to act...calm, sweet, submissive, sensitive, helpful, organized etc., but when we left, I was perturbed about leaving Casiklan (we even joked about me joining them later, though we knew it was impossible)...Then, when we got off the Jeepney, it was a wreck....I had been sleeping, and had some of my stuff out of my pack, when Sylvette woke me and asked if I wanted to have breakfast...I said "Sure.", wondering why we were stopping at a Breakfast Shop, and not continuing on.....I also wondered why Makayla was bringing her pack with her, but didn't think much about it... So, I swung myself down, and jumped the rest of the way, to turn around and meet my supervisors....then I realized that we were "there" at the meeting place, and my pack was still up top, in slight disarray...so much for keeping perfect!!
Flustered and rattled inside, I grabbed my pack from Sylvette, stuffed my malong and mosquito net inside of it (which made an excellent blanket and cushion), and headed in to eat with the rest of them...that was not a good start to my day....in my mind, I'd just "ruined it".....my whole perfect attitude...again... Outside, I was pretty normal kaayo, but inside, I was a wreck of heaved emotions, just miserable....
Interestingly, sometimes God gives me the perception of what He is trying/going to teach me through different situations before they actually happen...this was one of them, and though I knew, I still struggled inwardly....and majorly....
When we got to Subait (which was across the river-crossed by canoe and about 1/2 hour from the River Village-Tungao), I was even more vexed, because the team definitely did NOT need us....they already had 2 midwives (Lizzie and Jordan), and over 10 people for medical stuff. Nevertheless, I tried to help as much as possible, and did help with the Tuli Prep, writing out instructions, taking lots of pictures, etc. (Later even Makayla and Sylvette wondered why we didn't just stay in Casiklan, but God knew what He was doing....)
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| Preparing the instruments...we had 5 going at once. |
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| Preparing the instruments |
Tuli went really well...all the midwives got the chance to do a Tuli, except me, which wasn't really a problem....They either had the whole day yesterday to watch and assist, or they had lots of experience with suturing tears...I had neither, so I was perfectly content...I guess I was also tired.... We did about 15 boys, the oldest of which was 14, was extremely malnourished, and had some genetic problem, making him look like he was 8...at first we weren't sure if he'd be stable enough to have the Tuli performed, so we called in our resident Surgeon-Bong, who did some checkup stuff on him, talked to his mom, and then said it was okay lang, and did him himself.
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| The little boys, waiting in line |
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| Lizzie talked and sang this one to sleep...seriously, within 3 minutes, he was totally asleep, and didn't wake up until the end. |
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| Then I look over at this one, and he's asleep too!!! 2 asleep at the same time!!! Crazy!!! |
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| Nehemiah Teams Photographer-Jarrett |
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| And for some reason, the little girls found all this extremely interesting.... |
After we finished all of them, cleaned up, and had lunch, we had a few hour siesta, during which, I went back behind the H/C/Gym where there is a steep drop-off to the 'river' below, and had some time with God in the grass...Subait is nothing like Casiklan...there is a Karaoke machine that is on almost 24/7 right next to the H/C, so it is anything but peaceful. The houses are crowded, and there is not much 'space' to just live....After writing what had been happening in the last few days, I spent some time reading my Bible and just trying to "Be Still and Know", which helped some, but didn't fix the problem...
In the afternoon, I excused myself, and went up onto the hill overlooking the village (my supervisor knew where I was, and I had permission), and really spent some time battling it all out with God. I laid everything out before Him...I told Him everything I was feeling, all my disappointments, all my fears, and I told Him that I knew I was believing lies from the enemy, but that I didn't know what was truth and what was lies, and that I needed Him to show me what was the truth. I told Him that I was tired of trying to do it by myself. I cried out to Him, and gave Him myself all over again: all my dreams and desires, my longing to be back in Casiklan helping the people there. I told Him that there were issues in my heart that I wasn't even sure what they were, but that I knew He did, and I begged Him to address them and give me the answers to my deepest questions.
I left the hill with no more tears left at the moment, and with a new inner peace and joy, because I knew that it was in His field now, and I didn't need to worry about what was going to happen...He knew my heart, and if He decided to give me answers, He would...in His perfect timing.
That night, amazing things happened....I was REALLY tired from yesterday's excursions--hauling water and the long labor and birth--and happened to fall asleep (this time :D) on a 10" wide bench. I remember my last thought before going to sleep was, "Wouldn't it be ludicrous if I fell off?" I woke up about an hour later to my supervisor waking me up, because it was time to eat. I was deeply asleep, and so don't remember much of what happened, but all of a sudden realized that I had fallen 2.5 feet onto the concrete below....
I found out what happened later... I guess I rolled off the bench when he shook me. Being medical, his first thought was to protect my head, and so the only thing that got impact was my right knee...even after that, it took a minute to wake up, and then I realized that my knee was not doing too good...
(Four winters ago, I was involved in a major horse accident, and injured my knee badly. It took a full year for it to recover...mostly, and since then I've always had problems with it. Then, the next year, I had a snowboarding accident, and majorly injured my other knee...lol Anyway, there is some history for you...)
Well, I started taking preventative measures with my knee, but it just kept getting worse... In one way, I found it rather amusing, and in the other way, I was kinda scared...I had brought all my meds for this type of injury, and had an Instant Cold Compress on it, and was keeping it elevated but it was still getting worse...
One of the Mercy Girls-Lizzie took it upon herself to get me dinner, which was so sweet, and would have fed me if I'd let her....We talked for a little bit, and she told me that she felt God was leading her to tell me a few things: She was talking to the villagers earlier (she speaks fluent Visayan), and they told her that they had been so encouraged by my smile. She went on to bless me, encourage me, and through some of the things she said, God used her to answer some of the questions I had asked Him earlier...even questions that I didn't know what they were, but that God answered....(don't ask me what the answers were...but I know He did...praise God!!)
Then, she asked if she could pray for me that God would heal my knee, walking me through the truths of healing, and how it really happens (and had happened to her) even today. I already believe that God works miracles, and gratefully accepted...but at the same time, I didn't want to expect too many good things from God. But I also knew that I needed to fully trust and believe in Him for Him to want to heal me, so I did.
As soon as she prayed, the pain was gone from my knee, and by the morning, even the major bruising was gone. I remained a little skeptical, knowing that sometimes our brains imagine such things, but after a few days, I knew the truth for sure...God had healed my knee completely and 100% (and this I know for sure, because my other one is still bad!!)
How good is our God? That night, He showed me another glimpse of His true nature.... and gently reproved me too:
"O thou of little faith! Wherefore didst thou doubt?" ~ Matthew 14:31 Am I not God?? The God of Yesterday, Today, and Forever? ~ Hebrews 13:8
And I answered, Lord, Increase my faith!! ~ Luke 17:5
Oh that we may cease to believe the lies that are continually put out in our generation about how God is not the same as He was...that He does not work miracles in these days....THAT IS NOT TRUE!!! We generation of vipers, that we can not believe God for who He is!! Of course we can't put Him in our little tiny box!!! He is limitless!!! (And all this goes for me too....I am also to blame, for not believe Him as I should...)
That night, I slept on top of the table, under my mosquito net, using my clothes as a pillow and my malong as a sleeping bag....wow, is wood comfortable!! I didn't realize how much more give it has than concrete until now!!
In Thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in Thy righteousness.
~ Psalms 31:1
The LORD redeemeth the soul of His servants: and none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate.
~ Psalms 34:22
Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
~ Psalms 37:3
And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
~ Psalms 40:3
In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.
~ Psalms 71:1
For Thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: Thou art my trust from my youth. By Thee have I been holden up from the womb: Thou art He that took me out of my mother's bowels: my praise shall be continually of Thee. I am as a wonder unto many; but Thou art my strong refuge. Let my mouth be filled with Thy praise and with Thy honour all the day.
~ Psalms 71:5-8
But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all Thy works. ~ Psalms 73:28
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