...When I Say I Am A Christian....

Rebekah shared this with me, and I couldn't help but post it. May this be all of our heart's prayer and cry!!

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I am saved"

I'm whispering "I was lost!"

That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble

and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

my flaws are too visible

but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartaches

which is why I seek His name.

When I say "I am a Christian"

I do not wish to judge.

I have no authority.

I only know I'm loved.

- by Carol S. Wimmer

The Crosswalk of Life

I've always loved comics, and when my sister sent this one to me, it so impactful, I wanted to pass it on:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, don't we complain about the cross we bear, not realizing it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot??

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

there will always be sunshine, after the rain.

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;

But God's always ready, to answer your call.

He knows every heartache, and sees every tear,

and a word from His lips, can calm every fear.

Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,

But suddenly vanish, by dawn's  early light.

The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,

to give you His grace, and send you His love

May God fill your next year with blessings!!

The Grace of God

I came upon this poem today, and was blessed, encouraged, strengthened, invigorated, uplifted, thought-provoked, inspired, and humbled by it. I wanted to share it with you all, in hopes that it would do the same for you.
We serve a mighty God!!

My

"My grace," 'tis the God of all grace who hath spoken,

Whose Word in the heavens forever is set;

Whose covenant promise hath never been broken;

Who never can fail or forget;

Who knoweth my needs and Who seethe my sorrows,

However so many and great they may be;

Who hearth my prayers for the days and the morrows;

His grace is sufficient for me.

Grace

"My grace;" all His blessings this work is unfolding,

His love and His power in harmony blend;

'Tis grace that hath saved me, and grace that is holding,

And grace that will keep to the end;

'Tis grace that hath written redemption's glad story,

And grace all the song of the ransomed shall be;

'Tis grace that transforms me from glory to glory;

That grace is sufficient for me.

Is

"My grace is," not "was" and not "will be;" 'tis flowing'

Each hour and each moment my need to supply,

The deeper I dip, still the deeper 'tis growing,

No drought can diminish or dry;

My heart from the future no trouble shall borrow;

Eternal this present provision shall be,

Assured for today and as sure for tomorrow,

Such grace is sufficient for me.

Sufficient

"My grace is sufficient." Oh, help without measure!

An ocean of riches no plummet can sound,

A storehouse unfailing of infinite treasure,

A gift without limit or bound;

Exceeding abundant for all His creation,

Enough for the thorn that is buffeting me,

The fulness of God for earth's brief tribulation -

"My grace is sufficient for thee."

For Thee.

"Sufficient for thee," for my utmost salvation,

As though ne'er another had owed Him a debt;

For my special grief and my special temptation,

My cares and my sins that beset;

He giveth more grace for my humble endeavor;

I am praising Him now, I shall praise Him forever;

His grace is sufficient for me.

~ by Annie Johnson Flint ~

"And He said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee' for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 ~

Poems and Ponderings

It's been a while since I've posted...but thought I'd share just a few random things...

I am only one, but I am one;

I cannot do everything,

But I can do something.

What I can do, I ought to do,

And what I ought to do

By God's grace, I will do.

~ Edward Everett Hale ~

If I knew that a word of mine,

A word not kind and true,

Might leave its trace

On a loved one's face,

I'd never speak harshly;

would you?

If I knew the light of a smile

Might linger the whole day through,

And lighten some heart

With a heavier part,

I wouldn't withhold it;

would you?

~ Anonymous ~

I've been pondering on these verses of late...

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

~ Proverbs 18:21 ~

Sometimes, it is easy to get wrapped up in your own little world, your own needs, your own happiness, work, or sorrow, and forget about that big world around you. Smiles are important, just as reaching out is important. Graciousness is important. Prudence is important. Discretion is important.

I ran upon this verse the other day, and it really sent me for a loop. Though it seems to be paralleling the first part against the second part, it was another reminder for me to (through God's grace) work on becoming a woman of prudence. I am so grateful for those mentors and encouragers in my life!

"House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD."

~Proverbs 19:14 ~

What about you? What is God teaching you right now?

Resting As I Walk Along

Some days, God gives you a melody. ... Other days, He gives you a poem. Tonight, it was a poem.

I have found a friend in Jesus,

He's all the world to me.

I can take each problem to Him in prayer.

No matter what the issue,

He's always there to renew,

And help me overcome my despair.

Though it might be just a question,

I take each and every to Him,

And He faithfully answers me in His time.

It may take Him forever from my frail point of view,

But He knows what He's doing, and He'll do it too!

So, just rest in His love,

And wait in His peace,

And hope in a trustful way.

Give every desire to Him,

And make sure to walk in Him,

And wisdom He shall give you each day.

 ~ KH

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in His way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

For evil doers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth. But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.

~ Psalms 37:7-9, 11, 3-5 ~

The Spider

So, I'm cleaning our bathroom late this Fall,

When I decide to look up -- up, up on the wall.

And when I look up, what then do I see?

A spider - still little, but looking at me!

I keep it in watch as I dust down the walls,

And horrors! All of a sudden it falls!

I step back a pace with my duster in tow,

And that spider, it follows me where e'er I go!

I swing this way and that, trying to evade its dark grasp,

But it just keeps a-comin' - I let out a gasp.

I pray "Lord, please help me!" and then I look up,

And that's when I realize he's attached to the top!

It's the top of my duster - what makes him to fly,

So I lower him down to the flusher - bye-bye!

Now spiders don't usually frighten me so,

But a spider's a spider, no matter how small!

(Yes, this really happened today...and surprisingly yes, I did write it... =P)

There be four things which are little upon the earth, but they are exceeding wise: {the ants....the conies....the locusts...} The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces.

~ Proverbs 30:24, 28 ~

Reminds me of my Filipino spider experience last Christmas.. (and yes, that smile was pasted..)

He Keeps the Key

Is there some problem in your life to solve,

Some passage seeming full of mystery?

God knows, who brings the hidden things to light.

He keeps the key.

Is there some door closed by the Father's hand

Which widely opened you had hoped to see?

Trust God and wait -- for when He shuts the door

He keeps the key.

Is there some earnest prayer unanswered yet,

Or answered NOT as you had thought 'twould be?

God will make His purpose by-and-by.

He keeps the key.

Have patience with your God, your patient God,

All wise, all knowing, no long tarrier He,

And of the door of all thy future life

He keeps the key.

Unfailing comfort, sweet and blessed rest,

To know of EVERY door He keeps the key.

That He at last when just HE see 'tis best,

Will give it THEE.

~ Anonymous

...These things saith He that is holy, He that is true, He that hath the key of David, He that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth;
I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept My Word, and hast not denied My name.

~ Revelations 3:7b-8 ~

Smart...

Rachel and I were teaching my 7 year old brother, James about the value of money today, when I remembered the following poem...."Smart" Proves the point, eh??

My dad gave me one dollar bill

'Cause I'm his smartest son,

And I swapped it for two shiny quarters

'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters

And traded them to Lou

For three dimes -- I guess he don't know

That three is more than two!

Just thenm, along came old blind Bates

And just 'cause he can't see

He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,

And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs

Down at the seed-feed store,

And the fool gave me five pennies for them,

And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,

And he got red in the cheecks

And close his eyes and shook his head--

Too proud of me to speak!

~ Shel Silverstein

For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it.

~ Ecclesiastes 7:12 ~

He is Faithful

This last weekend was tough for me......we had 3 alpacas die in a matter of 2 days...for various reasons.
One cria didn't have the stamina to survive the winter because his mom was really sick (she humanely euthanized later), and supplementation for a male cria who isn't 'worth' the $300 to give a plasma transfer to is difficult.

After doing what we could for him this last week to try to perk him up, he died Saturday morning. Then, Friday afternoon, I found my prized cria-Khinah, hypothermic for no apparent reason, and doing everything short of giving her an IV (which I was about to do), she died Saturday afternoon.

In that alone, I was at peace. What did Job (1:20-21) say after he had lost all of his (10) children??

"Then Job arose.....and worshipped (God), and said, "...the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

(Notice that he worshipped God...looking at the original Hebrew text, we find that that means he knelt down all the way to the ground in reverence to God. What an motivating response to an tremendous trial.)

Of course, living on a ranch, these things are bound to happen, and you learn to accept them as part of life, and are comforted, knowing that God is walking with you during it all.

Though I was at peace with all that happened, it brought up past memories....memories of finding out my first horse-Molly had a neurological disease and making the extremely difficult decision to donate her to WSU for research.

Memories of then, after finding the horse of my dreams-Raphya (meaning "healer") and later breeding her to the perfect stallion for an unmatchable foal, I lost both Raphya and her unborn filly-Ruhamah (meaning "having obtained mercy") (and $3500 down-the-drain ;p), suddenly without any known cause.

Ruhamah - my dream

Memories of alpaca crias, like Snowflake, who was born 3 weeks early, and would have most assuredly died if I hadn't spent the first 2 days of her life out there in the barn, stimulating and tube feeding her (which proved to be necessary) to keep her alive, and even eating and sleeping out there with her. After 4 months of investing all my energies and money into my 'baby' (I was literally her mom), she suddenly died (waiting to die in my arms), without any explanation.

Memories of what were once my specialty....my Nubians....like Mercy, who born in frigid January, got pneumonia, and was literally house-raised...and to this day, is the only goat who has ever slept in my bed (in our house) with me. Because of her ailing lungs and wracking cough, she couldn't get any sleep at night (and neither could I ;p), unless her head was on my head touching my face. Then she was fine. Unfortunately, a person who was feeding her one morning, accidentally got it in her lungs, which proved fatal, even though we tried thorough CPR on her (in every way, besides the AED/Defibrilator ;p).

After 2 years since Raphya's death (the newest and in some ways hardest), I thought I was over it all. But the bittersweet memories are still there, and since memories will never leave (usually ;p), there will be tender feelings at times.

Suddenly, feelings arose that hadn't raised their ugly heads for nearly 2 years.....why did God let Raphya die? Why after He gave me such promises of what Ruhamah was going to be...my dream...for roping, riding, ranching, etc. suddenly go down the drain? Why did my horse allergies have to get so bad after we got out of horses, so that when I ride a horse, I get asthma so bad that I'm out of commission for months? Why didn't he allow me to get another horse when they were once my passion?

Silently and sometimes subconsciously fighting all these feelings, God overwhelmed my spirit with peace. Look what He has given me!?! He has directed my paths to something different for the time being....having a horse wouldn't fit in with medical studies and mission work at this point in time. He also divulged to me that though that is not what He has in His plans for me right now, that does not necessarily mean that I will not live my dream of raising horses and cattle, sometime in the future.

Through all this, He directed my eyes to Him. He wants me to gaze on His face and not be distracted with worldly goods. I am His...His Pure Princess Full of Hope (oh Father, let it be!! Make me to know what that really means to You!!).

Most of this I didn't even fully realize was going on until last night, when I was talking to a dear friend of mine (what Paul called an 'aged woman'--in Titus 2:3--which in in Hebrew also literally means 'ambassador' [which according to the 1812 Dictionary means: "An official messenger and representative"]...what a wonderful thing!), who I look up to as my personal mentor, and was so very encouraged in the Lord through her. Praise God for His goodness.

As usual, God brought these verses to mind/in my personal devotions, and what a fortification they are!

Yet the LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life. I will say unto God my Rock, "Why hast Thou forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" 

As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, 'Where is thy God?' Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? 

Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

~ Psalms 42:8-11 ~

The LORD is my strength and song, and is become my salvation. I will praise Thee: for Thou hast heard me, and art become my salvation. This is the LORD's doing; it is marvellous in our eyes. 

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Thou art my God, and I will praise Thee: Thou art my God, I will exalt Thee. O give thanks unto the LORD; for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever.

~ Psalms 118:14, 21, 23-24, 28-29 ~

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

~ Psalms 121:1-2, 8 ~

He also brought the following 2 songs to mind:

Maker of this heart of mine, You know me very well

You understand my deepest thought, more than I know myself

So when I face the darkness, when I need to find my way

I trust in You, Shepherd of my heart

Keeper of this heart of mine, Your patience has no end

You've loved me back into Your arms, time and time again

So if I start to wander, like the lamb that goes astray

I'll trust in You, Shepherd of my heart

You're the beacon of my night, You're the sunlight of my days

I can rest within Your arms, I can know Your loving ways

So let the cold winds blow and let the storms range all around

I trust in You, Shepherd of my heart

Giver of this life in me, You're what I'm living for

For all my deepest gratitude You love me even more

So as I walk through darkness, listening for the Master's call

I'll trust in You, Shepherd of my heart

I have a shelter in the storm when troubles pour upon me

Though fears are rising like a flood my soul can rest securely

O Jesus, I will hide in You--my place of peace and solace

No trial is deeper than Your love that comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm when all my sins accuse me

Though justice charges me with guilt, Your grace will not refuse me

O Jesus, I will hide in You--who bore my condemnation

I find my refuge in Your wounds, for there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm when constant winds would break me

For in my weakness, I have learned Your strength will not forsake me

O Jesus, I will hide in You--the One who bears my burdens

With faithful hands that cannot fail, You'll bring me home to heaven

I pray this post is as much a blessing to you reading it (if you could get through it all ;p), as it was to me writing it. OUR GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!! IT IS OVERWHELMING!!! Come before Him this Thanksgiving with hearts of praise.

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before His presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD, He is God: it is He that hath made us and not we ourselves; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture. 

Enter into His gates with Thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.

~ Psalms 100 ~

Day 15: Over 2 weeks

As a whole group, we've had a bad internet connection, & weird computer problems for the last few days, & my computer was one of those....thus the reason why I haven't been able to get things posted. So sorry!

Praise the Lord, my computer started working again, so I've been busy blogging for the last few hours!!!!

Since I work tonight, I have had the day off, to sleep, talk to my family, catch up on blogging, lead Stephanie through the free DISC Test & Love Language Test, and:

We had the "Pearl vendors" come back today. (I was working the first time they came.) The vendors were a young couple and their toddling daughter. The mama was a client at MMC under Amber's care a couple years ago, & so when Amber heard that a few of the girls REALLY wanted pearls, she got us in touch with them!!

Jordan, Kamerie, Lydia, Stephanie (hiding), vendor hubby & wife

Stephanie--trying to decide

Trying it on for size... :D

The girls had a lot of fun looking through the pearls of all different colors: ivory, purple, pink, black, & metallic! The little girl decided to use the C.R. (comfort room :D) behind the chair, so that made it especially interesting!!! Here she is after her mama changed her clothes...isn't she adorable?

The couple didn't speak English, besides a very few words, & none of the students were available for translation purposes, so that made it memorable. :D

Here is Terry working on the Laundry as we play with Pearls. Thank you Terry for everything you do!!!! You're amazing!!!

The Orange house invited us over for dinner, & just so you know we're not starving, here is the plateful we got. Mmm! Rice, veggies, chicken with a tang (or 3 :D) of Spice, & brownies too!

The Orange House had the following hanging on their wall...something to remember!!

Hands of a Midwife

These hands reach out

To a world in need.

Offering Truth and Love

To those whose eyes plead.

These hands speak clearly

In a language not heard

They convey many things

Without voicing a word.

These hands glimpse life

Through the walls of wombs.

Their fingertips sense

Each life as it blooms.

These hands touch lives

Leave fingerprints on a soul.

That God through each touch

They may glorify and extol.

These hands fold in prayer,

To the One who is Able.

They raise high in worship,

To Him who is faithful.

Called and equipped,

By the Author of Life

These hands are His

Hands of a Midwife.

~ Joy Essenmacher January 2010 (an MMC student)

I am working Night Shift tonight....in 1hr. 45min. :D